I am going to restart this blog (not that it ever really started!) and stick at it as a place to document my change this year to a more positive me.
I am so much better than I was but have taken a little dip recently which culminated in a big old WEEP last night about the realisation that I am not as well as I would like to think.
Talking with a very good friend and a very good sister I have started to think of a way to continue my recovery and not to continue "treading water"
1. A phonecall has been put in to relate, we went to relate in october to start rebuilding the relationship that has been put under huge strain. For one reason or another we havent followed it up so I made the positive step of requestion the booking form. Must make sure I act on it when it comes!
2. A decision has been made to get rid of distractions that take my eye off the ball. What is most important to me right now are (in no particular order) - my marriage, my kids, taking care of the house, losing some weight, doing some exercise, being around people who have a positive effect on me. So, anything that doesnt positively contribute to something in that list is GOING!
I have felt really anxious and fragile all day but it has not all been bad.
5 positive things I can say today
1. I made a tasty and fairly nutritious tea for the kids
2. I didnt just leave the kitchen in chaos when I woke up depressed this morning
3. I enjoyed putting Mathilda to bed and took extra time reading stories.
4. I have some really good friends
5. I have a husband that loves me
Tomorrow I am starting back at slimming world to lose some of this weight that is literally weighing me down!